A Church Home

Finding our place amidst the modern church can be rather difficult. Centuries of theology, what are we to do? We cannot change the past and we must live in the present. As Abelard demonstrated, not even the Church Fathers agree with one another on every point. Troubles with original sin. Troubles with immaculate concept. How are we to even be Christian? What does that even mean? However, perhaps we find comfort in our examination of our forefathers. Examine the Gospel of Mark, look at the character of the disciples. These are individuals who believe, but still doubt. St. Peter announces that Jesus is the Christ, yet he doubts Christ’s mission. He proclaims that Jesus is the Son of God, yet he cannot walk upon the water while looking into the eyes of his savior. The first disciples profess Jesus as God and yet they struggle with their own doubts, insecurities, and personal dilemmas. The very people who conversed with divine reality had reservations. How then are we, who have not seen the Lord, not to have problems? How are we, who encounter the imperfect Bride, not to have doubts? And to have doubts is a necessary part.

When all doubt is gone, we have lost the mystery of faith. A lack of uncertainty often means that the mystery has been solved. The article of faith has been rationalized so as to be immediately accepted. To have no questions, no doubts, is to enter into a stage of static theology. Growth has stopped. The tree has fully matured. But even the disciples continued to wrestle, continued to struggle even after Christ had risen! Even after Pentecost, in which they were filled with the Holy Spirit they still struggled to understand! How so must we! If the mystery is gone, then everything that the saints and the defenders of the faith fought for is in vain. The heretics, who claimed to understand God, have won. But if questions still exist, if doubt still challenges us to travel further, then perhaps there is hope. Christ asks that we bring what we have to him. Even when all we can offer is some bread and fish He can work miracles. The journey of faith is the same. We join the Church not because we are confident that every question will subsequently be answered but that they community of faith will continue to foster our growth and guide us as we dive further into the mystery of God.