Sunday, September 28, 2008
The Conduit
The world seems to be bound by these transcendent ideas and characteristics like love, peace, joy, mercy, etc. Watching a movie where a noble hero sacrifices his life to save someone strikes a cord with anyone regardless of socio-economic background. We are naturally wired to love and to desire to be loved, to participate in a movement of love. But we, my dear friends, cannot generate these powerful traits I've decided. I am not a generator but a conduit. I experience joy given to me by God then pass it on to another person. I experience love when God blesses another person with it and they pass it on to me. But I can't hold onto it, I'm not a storehouse. If I try to run on reserve I will find I am quickly on empty. So joy is found only in communion with God and with others. So is life. If you are grabbing at joy in life and trying your best to hold onto it, let go. It is not yours to grab. Life freely giving to the world and freely accepting that which is all around you. There you will find life.
Monday, September 22, 2008
words from a friend
Good friends are hard to come by, this I've learned in my few years on earth. Thankfully, I'm blessed with incredible friends who are there for me when I need them. This especially has been brought to my attention recently by my roommate Scott.
After a really rough weekend, actually a really rough week and a half, I was just burnt out (see previous post). Just lost in despair but Scott really helped me out.
"I know you're hurting man and I know the path has gotten a little rough. But this is just how it goes man, it's just like running a few miles. After that first mile you start feeling some pain and want to quit. You want to give up. But you just have to push past it to make it to the end. You've already come so far, don't give up now. Don't quit or you'll just keep quitting. I know you can make it through this if you just hold on and not give up because life got a little hard."
Scott's encouragement really centered me back. Life isn't always peaches even when you're doing everything in your power to do the right thing. Faith isn't certainty. Courage isn't not being afraid. But to be full of faith and full of courage we simply must recognize our fears, doubts, and disbeliefs yet hold fast to the hope that God will pull us through. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
So like Rocky, I think I've got a couple good rounds left in me. And I'll wait on the Lord to reveal Himself in this period.
After a really rough weekend, actually a really rough week and a half, I was just burnt out (see previous post). Just lost in despair but Scott really helped me out.
"I know you're hurting man and I know the path has gotten a little rough. But this is just how it goes man, it's just like running a few miles. After that first mile you start feeling some pain and want to quit. You want to give up. But you just have to push past it to make it to the end. You've already come so far, don't give up now. Don't quit or you'll just keep quitting. I know you can make it through this if you just hold on and not give up because life got a little hard."
Scott's encouragement really centered me back. Life isn't always peaches even when you're doing everything in your power to do the right thing. Faith isn't certainty. Courage isn't not being afraid. But to be full of faith and full of courage we simply must recognize our fears, doubts, and disbeliefs yet hold fast to the hope that God will pull us through. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
So like Rocky, I think I've got a couple good rounds left in me. And I'll wait on the Lord to reveal Himself in this period.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Searching for that silver lining
Despair. Doubt. Disbelief.
Suffocation.
Been tough as I attempt to make positive steps in my life only to have those things not work out. I do my best to reach out to reconcile to people and leave with that person still thinking I'm the devil for things I never did. I do my best to protect people by creating safe relationship distance only to have them feel hurt. I'm doing everything I can to be a better person and it's just not happenin.
My roommate told me last night in the midst of my breakdown last night that he was proud of me. He said he didn't know anyone to do so much to reconcile with people and reach out. He said my cause was even noble. But he said that I had to accept the reality that some times things just don't work out like you want. Some times you just have to be at peace with the fact that you did everything humanly possible to make things right.
I guess I'm just wrestling right now because I feel like I'm doing everything I can right and not really reaping anything positive. I work and I work, face challenge after challenge, only to remain in the state I started. As if the cosmos itself is against me. Or perhaps that's just Homeric epic coming through.
I'm going to continue following God, I'm just waiting on Him to show up. Waiting for that light at the end of the tunnel. Waiting for all this dirt I been doin to pay off. Hoping, against the dilemmas of reality, that it will happen.
Suffocation.
Been tough as I attempt to make positive steps in my life only to have those things not work out. I do my best to reach out to reconcile to people and leave with that person still thinking I'm the devil for things I never did. I do my best to protect people by creating safe relationship distance only to have them feel hurt. I'm doing everything I can to be a better person and it's just not happenin.
My roommate told me last night in the midst of my breakdown last night that he was proud of me. He said he didn't know anyone to do so much to reconcile with people and reach out. He said my cause was even noble. But he said that I had to accept the reality that some times things just don't work out like you want. Some times you just have to be at peace with the fact that you did everything humanly possible to make things right.
I guess I'm just wrestling right now because I feel like I'm doing everything I can right and not really reaping anything positive. I work and I work, face challenge after challenge, only to remain in the state I started. As if the cosmos itself is against me. Or perhaps that's just Homeric epic coming through.
I'm going to continue following God, I'm just waiting on Him to show up. Waiting for that light at the end of the tunnel. Waiting for all this dirt I been doin to pay off. Hoping, against the dilemmas of reality, that it will happen.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Basketball Jones
It has been a rough day, rough week, rough month. I woke up this morning simply burnt out. After difficult talks, meditation in the woods, and some more reflection I just felt the weight of my heart. So I decided to go shoot some hoops at the park near my house. Just shooting the ball felt great. After a while, three guys showed up to shoot around and we ended up playing a two-on-two game. It was great.
I think everyone should have something in their life that is good and pure. Some hobby, some interest that you love. When I shoot a basketball or play a game, that's all there is in the universe. No good. No evil. No right. No wrong. No pain. No this. No that. Just a ball and a hoop. All the world fades away and there is just me. Playing there is nothing but good competition. Not aggression, not hate, just people playing to see how far their skill can go. There is no loneliness in basketball because I have a teammate. I have no pain because the world has dissolved.
And after two games, I am free. I am liberated. Moksha in the form of a basketball. Thanks be to God.
I think everyone should have something in their life that is good and pure. Some hobby, some interest that you love. When I shoot a basketball or play a game, that's all there is in the universe. No good. No evil. No right. No wrong. No pain. No this. No that. Just a ball and a hoop. All the world fades away and there is just me. Playing there is nothing but good competition. Not aggression, not hate, just people playing to see how far their skill can go. There is no loneliness in basketball because I have a teammate. I have no pain because the world has dissolved.
And after two games, I am free. I am liberated. Moksha in the form of a basketball. Thanks be to God.
The Ant
Does an ant know that he's an ant? Does he realize his world is actually quite small, that in fact he's part of a much larger world? Does an ant realize his mount is not a mountain, but just a mound?
Do I?
Do I?
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Theology of a Feast
"It is not simply to be taken for granted that the Christian has the privilege of living among other Christians. Jesus Christ lived in the midst of his enemies. At the end all his disciples deserted him. On the Cross he was utterly alone, surrounded by evildoers and movers. For this cause he had come, to bring peace to the enemies of God" (17) – Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together [emphasis mine]
Read Matthew 18:21-35
Scholars point out that the sum owed by the servant to his fellow servant was worth in today’s standards about $10,000. Not a small amount of money to have owed and in our logic would merit a firm beat down. But when placed in contrast with the (conservatively estimated) $100,000,000 debt simply washed away, the servants anger seems out of place.
So too is our lack of forgiveness with others. Peter responds with what he assumed was a high number of forgiving acts: seven. But Jesus says that number is far too small when compared to the forgiveness we receive on a daily basis from God.
What if God forgave like we forgave? Many of us wrestle with sins that have become habitual, we wrestle with the same old compulsions year in and year out. But what if one day God, after being betrayed so many times, refused to forgive us? What if God couldn’t take it anymore and decided to avoid us, to put us out of His life?
As Christians, we forgive not because we are good at forgiveness or because forgiveness comes easily. We forgive because we have been forgiven. Our experience of the true forgiveness of God leads us to forgive others.
Play Nooma 007: Luggage
The Questions
Why is God’s forgiveness of us so crucial to our forgiveness of others?
Rob comments, “Maybe forgiveness is ultimately about me and about you, it’s about us. Because when I forgive somebody and I set them free, it’s like I’m really setting myself free.”
Do you believe forgiveness is really more about the one forgiving than the one being forgiven?
Does that view of forgiveness make it easier to forgive?
So the question becomes, how do we attempt to embody this lifestyle of forgiveness lived by Jesus?
Perhaps the answer lies in the ancient practice of feasts.
Read Luke 14:1-14
By definition a Feast consists of a large meal joyously served to friends and those to whom friendship is extended. It is a night of food and festivities where fellowship is fostered among friends.
“In the Near East, to share a meal with someone is a guarantee of peace, trust, fraternity, and forgiveness—the shared table symbolizes the shared life. An Orthodox Jew’s saying “I would like to have dinner with you” is a metaphor that implies, “I would like to enter into friendship with you…come to my mikdash me-at, the miniature sanctuary of my dining room table, where we will celebrate the most sacred and beautiful experience that life affords—friendship” (59-60).
This explains why the Pharisees were so enraged by Jesus’ sharing of meals with sinners and social outcasts. You see over and over again throughout the Gospels of Jesus sharing meals with sinners or inviting people like Zacchaeus to come eat with him.
"Moreover, because Jesus was looked upon as a man of God and a prophet, they would have interpreted his gesture of friendship as God's approval on them. They were now acceptable to God. Their sinfulness, ignorance, and uncleanness had been overlooked and were no longer being held against them" (60)
-The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
In conclusion, we see the importance of forgiveness seen repeatedly throughout the Gospels. Important to note is the need of confession in these times. Conflict requires two people and resolution requires two people to mutual bear the burden of responsibility. Confession means we must let go of senseless notions of pride or ego to value relationship over self-image. Often, we must approach someone which we are estranged with in humility to confess we are bearing the burden of bitterness and resentment against them. We must apologize for our part in the conflict, seek understanding from their perspective, and take the necessary steps to reconcile. Read the section of John Burke’s Soul Revolution on reconciliation to see the proper steps. Also, read the section on confession in Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together to gain a theological perspective on the issue. As I see it, feasts should always come as the celebration of or the invitation to confession and reconciliation. They cannot be separated from one another.
Read Matthew 18:21-35
Scholars point out that the sum owed by the servant to his fellow servant was worth in today’s standards about $10,000. Not a small amount of money to have owed and in our logic would merit a firm beat down. But when placed in contrast with the (conservatively estimated) $100,000,000 debt simply washed away, the servants anger seems out of place.
So too is our lack of forgiveness with others. Peter responds with what he assumed was a high number of forgiving acts: seven. But Jesus says that number is far too small when compared to the forgiveness we receive on a daily basis from God.
What if God forgave like we forgave? Many of us wrestle with sins that have become habitual, we wrestle with the same old compulsions year in and year out. But what if one day God, after being betrayed so many times, refused to forgive us? What if God couldn’t take it anymore and decided to avoid us, to put us out of His life?
As Christians, we forgive not because we are good at forgiveness or because forgiveness comes easily. We forgive because we have been forgiven. Our experience of the true forgiveness of God leads us to forgive others.
Play Nooma 007: Luggage
The Questions
Why is God’s forgiveness of us so crucial to our forgiveness of others?
Rob comments, “Maybe forgiveness is ultimately about me and about you, it’s about us. Because when I forgive somebody and I set them free, it’s like I’m really setting myself free.”
Do you believe forgiveness is really more about the one forgiving than the one being forgiven?
Does that view of forgiveness make it easier to forgive?
So the question becomes, how do we attempt to embody this lifestyle of forgiveness lived by Jesus?
Perhaps the answer lies in the ancient practice of feasts.
Read Luke 14:1-14
By definition a Feast consists of a large meal joyously served to friends and those to whom friendship is extended. It is a night of food and festivities where fellowship is fostered among friends.
“In the Near East, to share a meal with someone is a guarantee of peace, trust, fraternity, and forgiveness—the shared table symbolizes the shared life. An Orthodox Jew’s saying “I would like to have dinner with you” is a metaphor that implies, “I would like to enter into friendship with you…come to my mikdash me-at, the miniature sanctuary of my dining room table, where we will celebrate the most sacred and beautiful experience that life affords—friendship” (59-60).
This explains why the Pharisees were so enraged by Jesus’ sharing of meals with sinners and social outcasts. You see over and over again throughout the Gospels of Jesus sharing meals with sinners or inviting people like Zacchaeus to come eat with him.
"Moreover, because Jesus was looked upon as a man of God and a prophet, they would have interpreted his gesture of friendship as God's approval on them. They were now acceptable to God. Their sinfulness, ignorance, and uncleanness had been overlooked and were no longer being held against them" (60)
-The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
In conclusion, we see the importance of forgiveness seen repeatedly throughout the Gospels. Important to note is the need of confession in these times. Conflict requires two people and resolution requires two people to mutual bear the burden of responsibility. Confession means we must let go of senseless notions of pride or ego to value relationship over self-image. Often, we must approach someone which we are estranged with in humility to confess we are bearing the burden of bitterness and resentment against them. We must apologize for our part in the conflict, seek understanding from their perspective, and take the necessary steps to reconcile. Read the section of John Burke’s Soul Revolution on reconciliation to see the proper steps. Also, read the section on confession in Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together to gain a theological perspective on the issue. As I see it, feasts should always come as the celebration of or the invitation to confession and reconciliation. They cannot be separated from one another.
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