Confessions are hard to do

Over the summer as an intern the staff I worked with read Dietrich Bonhoeffer's "Life Together" (wonderful read) and I've also been hit-or-miss with doing some Scripture reading from the book of Matthew. Anyways, Bonhoeffer talks a lot about confession and the need to make admissions of guilt to fellow Christians in his work. In Matthew, Jesus says, "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift" (5:23-24).

As I read that passage, I thought of who I needed to be reconciled to and I thought of one person in particular. I recognized that I really needed to confess and apologize to that person but my own insecurities got the better of me so I just sent a facebook message (also, I haven't seen this person in two years). I wrote a long message to apologize for my thoughts and actions which were arrogant, self-centered, and immature. I confessed that my thoughts and actions were wrong and stemmed from my own broken imperfectness.

That was something incredibly difficult because I had to first be shown by God how imperfect I really was. Which sucked. And has sucked all summer to be shown how truly in need of grace I am. Another sucky part was after I sent that message I thought of another person I needed to message, then after that I thought of another person. Three messages with three different admissions of guilt. Which doesn't exclude the two coffee shop conversations I will have to have upon my return to school and a couple things I'll have to tell some other people.

I don't really feel comfortable with all this but I know its necessary. I don't even know how those people will take the messages but I hope they understand that I'm really sorry. I also hope those messages won't just be words and that I live up to what I wrote. To what I am writing. But if I want to follow Jesus I have to go all the way, even when I feel awkward and hurt.

If you pray, pray that God will grant me courage to make honest confessions, a heart to hear honest words, and the fortitude to follow Christ not just in word but in deed.

Church of the Community

For a long while now I have differentiated between the Church (note the definite article) and a church. The Church is also known as "the Body of Christ" signifying its purpose of being the physical representative of Christ on earth. The Church consists of the true followers of Christ throughout the world. The Church is beautiful and holy, with Jesus Christ at its head.

A church is a group of people who gather together to worship God. A church is composed of people who are devout and not devout. A church can be very beautiful, reflecting the Church, or very ugly. And for the longest while I think I've let my ideas of church and my images of ugly churches skew how I think church should be done. So I present this idea which has struck me lately:

Church is about a group of people who have encountered and been transformed by Christ gathering together to share in their mutual love. Based upon Christ, these people mutually encourage and love one another as they continue to strive to embody the Gospel more and more. So church is merely a community of Christians and not a building. Not necessarily an organization.

Yet, I have community with Christians all the time. And I have been called to ministry. So perhaps I can look at things like this: My family, my friends, my coworkers, my neighbors, etc are all part of my congregation. My fellow Christians are part of a small church. As a result, everyday I have the chance to be a shepherd to them. In the sense that I might ask: Is my house a sanctuary where people can come to feel love and grace? Am I bearing the fruits of the Spirit in my relationships? Do I help to bring greater community to those around me?

Ministers tend to be very intentional in how they do ministry in their church. They create special events, build relationships, etc with the intent on helping people draw near to Christ. But what if every Christian led their lives that intentionally? Like had big dinners, got together people to have fun in a park, got coffee with someone, etc. What if everyone strived not to push the Gospel on other people but intentionally sought to embody it for their micro-communities?

True community lies all around you. You are part of a small church everyday in your interactions. Perhaps we should stop depending on institutions do the work that people should do and begin to pour into our relationships.

The Irrelevant Church

So I'm a college senior in the midst of a world which is changing before my eyes. Many scholars debate now about the current philosophical, sociological, economic, and scientific shifts which are happening. In the Western world, a sharp decline in Christianity has been experienced since the birth of the modern age.

While skeptics might claim that it's simply science making the world more rational and understandable, I would argue something different. I believe that Christianity has experienced such a sharp decline because it's no longer relevant to us Westerners. Clearly, there is an explosion of Christianity in Asia and Africa which would point away from the Modern extinction of religion.

The issue I see is that my generation and similar generations before me are starved to see a relevant strand of Christianity. Christianity has been so consumed by theological debate and political theory that it no longer shows us that God is good anymore. Indeed, two world wars, the dropping of the A-Bomb, genocides, global poverty, AIDS, and natural disasters can lead many people to ask, "Is God really good? Is He even around?"

I believe God is in an active work of rescuing mankind. I believe Christ is the hope of all mankind. But I also believe that God has one main plan of getting His work done: us. The Gospels say that Jesus would look out upon the crowds of the poor and the oppressed and have compassion on them. But few people in the West see the Body of Christ reflecting that. The first Christians led this contagious lifestyle of actively working to create a better world, a world they called "the kingdom of God."

Now most Westerns create bigger and better Churches. Perhaps thats why our Christianity is declining while other parts of the globe are experiencing exponential growth: they are seeing the body of Christ as work.

To be relevant to my generation today, the Church has to stop talking and start walking. We need to see the Church lead out in the fight against AIDS, against poverty, against hunger, against injustice. I believe in Christ and I believe in the Church. I just feel like maybe we should bring it back to the old school. Before the mega-churches. Before the Moral Right. Before Christendom. Back when bringing love, beauty, grace, truth, and forgiveness to hurting people was foundations to the Way.

So let us all keep it Old School.

That's My King! by SM Lockridge

Wonderful sermon. [click on title to go to video]

A Beautiful Franciscan Blessing

[A pastor read this sermon today before a large gathering of ministry leaders and I absolutely loved it. The beauty of this blessing is wonderful and its source in the Franciscan Order only adds to it for me. May it touch your heart as well]

May God bless you with discomfort at half-truths, easy answers, and superficial relationships, so that you will live deeply and from the heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and the exploitation of people, so that you will work for justice, freedom, and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those in pain, so that you will reach out your hand to them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with just enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this old world, so that you will do those things that others say cannot be done.

A definite life change

So I'm at a leadership conference at FOTW put on by WillowCreek Church because the MET was gracious enough to pay my way to go to the event. So I'm in the middle of Gary Haugen's talk on social justice and I wrote this, "Cast down your idol of hip cultural urban ministry and pursue the heart of God recklessly. No longer serve the vain statue of counter-cultural pastorship but be a lowly worker of the harvest."

It was as if I finally, in a very clear way, felt as though I was receiving an invitation by God to participate in His work of rescuing the poor and oppressed in the hurting places in the world. I don't mean to speak for God or to say definitely how this is to be worked out, all I can say is that for a growing while I cannot watch a video of starving people, dying people, hurting people somewhere in the world and not have this voice inside me say, "I need to go there. I need to help those people." All my life I have known I want to help the hurting people of the world. As if it is written on my heart. But I felt that there were hurting people in the US I could help. However, I feel as though for me this would not be truly answering my call. For me, okay, for me...I feel as though if I were to be a pastor in the US I would either be serving the capitalist, shallow, glory-seeking model of cheap suburban christianity or bowing to the idol of hip, underground, counter-cultural pastor. As if my society has placed Billy Graham and Rob Bell as the idols I am to bow to. Now this isn't to say that my brothers and sisters who are working to authentically embody the Gospel of Christ in the United States are wrong or sell-outs. It simply means for me, I cannot serve in the United States without feeling a void in my heart because I am not with the lowest of the low. I must go to the poor. I don't know what I will do, I don't know how to do it, I don't know where to go, I don't know how I'll get there...all I know is that right now I feel like God is calling me to leave the States to go to His hurting people. And I simply pray that He will continue to move in my heart and to lead me down the path of His love and endurance.

Reflections on Anarchy

[Origen, quoting Celsus:] "If everyone were to act the same as you Christians, the national government would soon be left utterly deserted and without any help, and affairs on earth would soon pass into the hands of the most savage and wretched barbarians." [Origen:] Celsus exhorts us to help the Emperor and be his fellow soldiers. To this we reply, "You cannot demand military service of Christians any more than you can of priests." We do not go forth as soldiers with the Emperor even if he demands this. [Origen goes on to say that if the Romans followed the teachings of Jesus, there would be no barbarians.]

Should Christians participate in the government? It is clear from history that the first Christians believed you shouldn't, especially not as a soldier. But two thousand years of Church history has demonstrated that perhaps the temptations of secular power can be too great for Christians at times. I some times wonder how politically active Christians should be, especially in the context of modern America with its "Moral Right." The first Christians were considered anarchists and insurrectionists by the Roman government but most American Christians consider patriotism a virtue. So what of this? Perhaps the early Christians simply couldn't envision a world in which politics didn't involve compromise. Politics is about give and take, at times I have to sacrifice to get something done. But the first Christians refused to compromise. Refuse to give an inch on their values for the world.

But if we dissolved the government, we'd have chaos! Perhaps. Surely human history has demonstrated the utter chaos which can be caused by the destruction of government. But perhaps thats because government is merely an expression of the innate human desire for domination and control. Humans, desiring to imitate God, seek to bring chaos. In some ways, the desire to bring order isn't bad. Order is one of the chief foundations of society. But how is that order discovered? Through domination or through love? Perhaps this is the cornerstone to the early Christian argument. When you attempt to live without a government in a society based upon domination you have destruction. You have war. But when you organize a society without a government founded upon love...you have the early Christian community.

Christians and government, can we get along? Or are we destined to combat each other based upon our founding principles? Many would argue that government maintains order and control. But does it? Or does it simply allow us to express certain desires in greater proportion (greed, selfishness, power-hunger)? Look at American greed, exploitation, lust, etc...do we really have control? Has government really solved the problems?

Children die everyday of hunger. Mothers die of diseases cured decades ago in the Western world. Fathers die without clean drinking water. You are being suffocated by the American dream. Your children are dying of greed and lust everyday. And yet we defend government as the cure-all to life. Maybe we should give love...nay, God...a chance.