Well I just wanted to add two scenes which I didn't cover in my last post to my synopsis of my Fuller Visit. Since the last post was long, I'll try to be concise here.
Scene 1: I woke up on Friday morning after 11 hrs of slumber to my mom telling me it was time to get up. As I lie there she said she had to tell me something. "Earlier this morning while I was praying I really felt God speak to me very clearly. He said, "You have to let him go. You have to let him go." It was the clearest thing I have ever heard in prayer. Now I'm not saying it's Fuller, but God is telling me I have to let you go away to wherever you decide to go."
That was an incredible moment because something my mother has really wrestled with in my grad school explorations, esp with Fuller, is me moving away. To hear that was a great blessing.
Scene 2: As I said in the last post, I'm looking at pursuing the twin degree plan at Fuller so that I can take more classes in the School of Intercultural Studies. However, this begs the question: What are you going to do with that? That my mother asked while we were driving home from the airport. I responded that my heart is not drawn to building a mega-church in a white suburb or writing a best selling novel, both of which have become the unspoken markers of a successful pastor in America today. My heart is drawn to the poor, the oppressed, the marginalized, and the disenfranchised. I cannot pursue a life that would not be centered on an active work of helping the poor. As the poorest of the poor are in places outside the US, following my calling would most likely take me abroad. Not that all pastors of mega churches are evil or writing a book means sell out, it's just for me I can't see that being the focus of my life. I might write a book or pastor a church but both of those things will follow from my work. Not my work following my book or my sermons.
Well, needless to say my mother wasn't very happy with that. "I don't see why you have to go on some crusade to save mankind. there are poor people in my family, why don't you help them?" I know her words were more out of the motherly concern of "How will you eat? how will you support yourself? I won't see you if you are abroad." But that convo was still difficult. I think in time she will be a little more open to the idea but right now it's a slow process.
Anyways, that concludes all the thoughts I can muster about my Fuller trip. Feel free to comment on either blog post. Thanks to all the people who prayed for the trip as it was a great experience and I really love the place. I now simply have to trust that if God is continuing to call me there He will finance it as well. Thanks again, much love to all of you.
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