TNT has a staff of 68 workers who serve the 1,000 recipients comprised of orphans, recovering drug addicts, special needs, and impoverished. The enormous number of people in which the organization serves makes the site incredible. TNT exists as a campus sitting in the hills outside Aizawl. I didn't take any pictures of the place because I didn't want to seem like a tourist so this account will serve as the memory I have.
My tour began with a glimpse into the kitchen where the cooks were getting their first break of the day. Cooking for the first meal of the day begins at 1 am as huge black pots rougly 4 ft in diameter and 3 ft high are used to make breakfast. My guide said that cooking will continue non-stop for the rest of the day as finishing one meal simply begins the task of preparing for the next meal. Which makes sense when you consider that 1,000+ people must be fed twice a day (Mizos traditionally do not take lunch).
Next, we moved to the rehab center TNT runs. The center is divided into two sections based upon the progress of the participants. When a new person arrives, they are moved into a dorm until there are 10 people and then the treatment process begins. The dorms are much like barracks: large buildings with two rows of bunks running the length of the room. Beds are basic: wooden frame, bamboo thatch work for a mattress, blanket, and pillow. Each day operates under a tight schedule posted outside the hostel encompassing breakfast, cleaning the area, lecture, counseling, sermon, cleaning, counselling, dinner, prayers, sleep. I assume the schedule helps keep the minds of those in rehab off the thoughts of addiction.
From the rehab center we walked down to the orphanage. The orphanage houses aproximately 400 children ranging from elementary to high school. TNT employs teachers (who work for very little money) to educate the children in hopes that upon leaving they can get a job to support themselves. Many children are either former street children or literal orphans placed here by extended family. When I was there, class had ended so the children were running around playing with balls made of plastic bags tied with plastic netting to make a softball sized ball.
The dorms for children were quite saddening to see. The dorms were again in barrack like fashion but slightly altered. For example, the boys dorm was a large building divided into three or four sections probably 20 x 30 ft. The sides of the sections had two large concrete slabs, one above the other like bunk beds. The slabs, as I found out, were the beds for the children. The boys get a thin blank to place on their section of the concrete slab and then a worn, thin comforter with pillow. Since the children were awake I didn't see anyone sleeping but I could only imagine 300 boys sleeping next to each other on these concrete slabs called beds. The girls' dorm had the same set up but seemed a bit cleaner.
After exploring the orphanage section (the different functions of the campus are quite literal sections with clear distinctions), we visited the special needs area. This area particularly struck a cord with me. Perhaps subconscious flashbacks to my time in Mexico in high school began to play. Regardless, we entered through the gate where a large amount of construction was being done to create a new building for the patients. Here is where the understaffing of TNT really began to be displayed (in case you missed it, 68 workers for 1,000 people are not good numbers). The special needs children and adults are basically left to sit around or wander in gated areas with one or two supervisors watching. Their sleeping conditions are the same as the children. I almost lost it as I walked past a man lying on the concrete slab wrapped in his blanket like a cacoon. I'm no expert on caring for those with special needs, but I feel I can confidently say that these people could use many more caretakers.
We concluded our tour by checking out the dorm for the ranchhands and farms that work at TNT. As I discovered, TNT raised their own chickens, turkeys,and cattle to feed the residents. In addition, they grow many of their own crops to consume. As a result, TNT seeks to be as self-sustaining as possible in regards to food consumption. A great idea although the wooden floor was so old and filled with holes I was worried the floor would give out from under me.
Thus was the end of my tour of TNT. By the time came to leave, my head and heart were swirling with a number of complex emotions. On the one hand, I was saddened to see the living conditions of the children, recovering drug addicts, and special needs people living at TNT. Yet on the other hand, I couldn't deny that although I would consider the conditions far beyond sub-standard or acceptable, this was the best that could be provided. I mean, where else would these people go? TNT is providing as best they can so I have to be thankful and appreciative of that. And although I know I cannot demand standards which simply don't exist here, I couldn't help but wish TNT was able to provide more. But I imagine these sentiments would be shared by the TNT staff as well. Most of the staff, by the way, are unpaid and live and work at TNT solely because they wish to help people. That's truly inspiring.
Nevertheless, my tour of TNT reawakened the unsettling emotions which I have managed to escape from in the past two months in Mizoram. My time at AICS and my trip to Lunglei all showed me the best that Mizoram has to offer. Yet Mizoram, just like anywhere else in the world, has its broken places as well. Seeing these places brought back the pain which my heart has grown accustomed too and social consciousness I've been trying to burn into my being. But perhaps it's best I explain what I'm talking about...
The Hindu tradition has a word called samsara which is central to its perspective. Samsara is Sanskirt meaning "flow" or "runaround." As Dr. Charles Ryerson writes,
The dominant metaphor for this word is water, either the ocean or a river. Samsara is what one must be liberated or saved from. In this view, as a person becomes more conscious, and consciousness is a key term, one feels more the frustrations and limitations of life. The deeper one thinks and feels, the more one finds that one is in pain because one longs for what the phenomenal world cannot give. This becomes genuine suffering on the deepest level.Although I am not a Hindu, I think that this description properly describes a feeling that has developed in me over the past year. Indeed, before leaving for India I had a long conversation with my grandfather. He told me, "Austin, I feel as though you are not the same happy go lucky person that you were last summer. You have changed, become more serious." His remarks were not alone as a friend told me the same before I left Princeton. I went on to explain to my grandfather my experiences around the world which have been incredibly difficult for me to experience and process. Indeed, my growing awareness and meditation on the conditions of people around the world have lead to a growing cynicism and seriousness in my approach.
To be more clear, the more I travel around the world and the more I study, the greater my dissatisfaction with the world. To compound my state, I seem to experience the reality of my own limitations and subsequent frustrations. To know that right now people are dying from diseases cured fifty years ago, mothers choosing drugs over caring for their newborns, people killing each other, oppressing one another...well, such consciousness is a bit over-whelming. Perhaps for this reason when my mom asked about certain experiences I had in Africa I told her, "you don't want to know. It's best you not know some of the things I saw." The same is true for Princeton, Houston, Beijing, Aizawl, and everywhere else I've traveled.
I am reminded today of both why I am joining the ministry and why I am not the same person I was a year ago. My grandparents told me it's good to be aware but that I must also learn to accept that I can only do so much. I think that last part of advice is something I'm still struggling with. When I envision my future, I some times see myself back in Houston working amongst the poor and helping the city that birthed me. Yet, at other times (esp days like today) I can't help but think that I need to travel abroad to places where the standard of living is so far below what is considered poor in America. I guess ever since I was a child I wanted to change the world. But perhaps the world is not enough, I wish I could change the fundamental essense of the universe. I wish I could make poverty an outdated concept or idea that people study in history class but lack the historical proximity to truly understand the meaning of poverty.
But this is a fantasy. Even Jesus tells me, "the poor will always be among you." I must admit I'm now catching myself, realizing I'm bearing my soul to some readers who have never met me. My apologies. Suffice it to say, at this point in my life I am grappling with the reality of injustice while at the same time attempting to discern what role I will play in combating the issue. All the while ever reminded that no matter what I do, the powerful play will go on.
I will now attempt to close this long blog post. Indeed, if you've made it this far I applaud your diligence. What I want to leave you with is this: tonight, tomorrow, this week, this month I want you to look past the veil that is over our eyes. Go visit your local soup kitchen one Saturday morning or participate in your local faith traditions' social work program. See what life is like, have that experience placed into your consciousness. Then go live a life of generosity, kindness, love, and peace. You don't have to sell everything you own or quit your job to work at a prison ministry (or maybe for you that's true), but you do need to live a life marked by serving others. Because as a wise man once told me, "the world is in no greater need of people who say 'love your neighbor as yourself.' But the world is in desperate need of people who actually love like that."
pax et bonum
1 comment:
Interesting that God is showing you his plan bit by bit...I think it has to do with how much you can handle at the time. Stay strong Austin! Love you always, Mama
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