So I was at lunch the other day with a friend and we were talking about my plans for the future. I told him that right now I am focusing on the next step of my journey (seminary) and letting God worry about the rest. I guess I just figure that at some point in the future I'll have developed into the person God has trained me to be and at that moment He'll reveal the path to follow for me.
All that to say, right now I feel like there are two paths I am interested in: the head pastor of a church in the inner-city somewhere or the life of a missionary. The fact of the matter is, I am drawn to the people on the margins of society. To the poor and the oppressed. Away from the haves to the have-nots.
But my friend, who was mirroring a not uncommon sentiment, was a bit uncomfortable with my life as a missionary. "Not to say that the life of a missionary wouldn't be as much of a success as the life of a pastor of a church of 5,000 writing books and doing speaking tours...but...I don't know." I dunno, it just seems like people in my life keep telling me that I'm so "talented" that I could better use my skills here in the States.
But I can't help but feel that the US doesn't need anymore Rob Bells (if I even had that potential). I mean, 90% of people called to the ministry feel called to ministry in North America. It's not that I don't like the US, but when I see all the people suffering simply to survive elsewhere in the world I can't help but want to go and help. I've grown up in white suburbia, trained in their schools, learned from their teachers, experienced the fruits of that life...but I feel like it's my duty to use all that to help other people.
I don't know what I'd be able to do in Africa. I don't have any skills to help dying people other than speaking. So maybe I could be someone who organized and mobilized churches to help God's people who are suffering. I dunno. But I am just uncomfortable with the idea of staying in the US to help people who already have. For what? To write some books and gain some kind of following as a great teacher? First, I don't even have that level of skill. Second, why? I decided to go into ministry because I wanted to be a part of what God was doing in the world. To participate in His work of rescuing mankind. Not to be Billy Graham or Rob Bell. Not to say those guys are evil, I just question whether that's really the path laid out for me. Esp for the reasons presented to me by my friends.
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Wow . . . just wow. Reading this made me want to just be able to grab you around the shoulders and tell you to do what your heart wants. You are completely right, there are plenty of others who are here in the U.S. to help U.S. people. There are millions and millions of other people out there in the world who have NO access to any help whatsoever. Even if it is just your words, words help people so much on the inside. Your friends are your friends, and I've come to learn that their visions are skewed. Of course they will want you to stay here. Somewhere in the back of many peoples' minds in our country there is this kind of fear of those oppressed places in the world. I'm sure they love you and they want you to be happy, but you must make them understand that your longing to aid others in the world is how you will be able to achieve that happiness. You sound like an amazing person who does have the love, the drive, and capabilities of being someone great to millions in the world. I praise you.
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